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Post by johnnyb on Sept 24, 2018 20:10:40 GMT -5
Reminds me of some guys I worked with...
Proof the government is spying on me as I make Jackie posts. Is that Trump?
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Post by bastet on Dec 16, 2018 1:21:36 GMT -5
Elon Musk to launch nine Holstein cows to orbit aboard a Falcon Heavy.
Says it will be the herd shot round the world.
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Post by bastet on Dec 20, 2018 11:47:26 GMT -5
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Post by bastet on Dec 23, 2018 13:17:15 GMT -5
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Post by bastet on Dec 30, 2018 13:35:04 GMT -5
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Post by bastet on Dec 31, 2018 2:30:57 GMT -5
A rat infested town asked the local religious leaders for help so the head minister, rabbi, and priest got together to find a solution. The Baptist minister spoke up first and suggested that rat poison should be used. The rabbi and priest didn't care for that idea as it was too dangerous because of small children and pets possibly getting into it. The rabbi suggested setting traps to catch the rats. They would not be killed but instead would be taken far away and released. The minister and priest nixed that idea because it would just make the rats someone else's problem plus the possibility of them finding their way back to town. The minister and rabbi looked at the priest for his suggestion, since theirs were dismissed. The priest finally decides, "I've got it. We'll baptize all of the rats and only see them at Christmas and Easter!"
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Post by rob49 on Dec 31, 2018 6:44:50 GMT -5
Proof the government is spying on me as I make Jackie posts. Is that Trump? No it is obama. He is the one who spied on tens of thousands of Americans illegally, including political opponents, judges, business leaders and even the opposition party's canidate in the 2016 Presidential Election. All of which are proven and well documented facts, and not the politically motivated LIE implied by johnnyb in his post attacking the duly elected President of the United States of America. I believe Rich has banned political comments, that would include johnnyb's politically motivated LIE I just rebutted with the truth. Edit to add, I have reported post that violate Rick's rules several times before but he always replies he has not seen them. I am sure he will see this one now that I have posted a rebuttal to it, instead of reporting it.
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Post by bastet on Jan 10, 2019 15:53:38 GMT -5
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Post by bastet on Jan 20, 2019 14:30:04 GMT -5
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Post by bastet on Apr 11, 2019 8:53:08 GMT -5
Lawyer: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? Witness: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? Witness: No. Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure? Witness: No. Lawyer: Did you check for breathing? Witness: No. Lawyer: So, then, it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? Witness: No. Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor? Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Lawyer: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law....
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Post by bastet on Apr 23, 2019 23:48:12 GMT -5
The only reason you will ever need for "going commando"! This happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there had small apartments, but they all ate at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the door and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly, so she went back to the dining area. An hour later he still hadn't arrived, so she went back up towards his room, but found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a hard time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to call an ambulance, but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain and just wanted to have his breakfast. So, she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast. When he tried to return to his room, he was completely unable to get up even the first stair step, so they called an ambulance for him. A couple of hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing. The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one side of his boxer shorts.
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Post by bastet on May 18, 2019 19:07:20 GMT -5
Camus is walking on the beach and spots a man looking simultaneously alienated and indifferent, and Camus yells, "Hey friend, don't be a Stranger!"
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Post by bastet on May 21, 2019 12:01:16 GMT -5
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Post by bastet on Jun 15, 2019 22:12:41 GMT -5
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Post by bastet on Aug 11, 2019 19:10:37 GMT -5
A young man who was very attracted to older women met an extremely attractive woman while grocery shopping one afternoon. They struck up a casual conversation, and one thing led to another. He asked her out for a cup of coffee, and they spent the entire day telling each other their hopes and dreams. The conversation got very intimate after a few hours, and it was apparent that there was a mutual attraction. The young man summoned his courage and asked the woman to go back to his place. The woman blushed and said "You probably do not realize my age...I am 80 years old". The young man looked at her in disbelief and stammered...."but...but...you don't look a day over 50"! The woman smiled and playfully retrieved her driver's license from her purse, which showed that the woman was indeed 80 years old. Undeterred and completely captivated by the woman's charm and beauty, he asked her again if she would like to come back to his place. As they held hands at the cafe' table, the woman responded... "I have a better idea. I think we should go back to MY place. Tell me, have you ever had a threesome with a mother and daughter"? The young man could not belief his stroke of sheer luck. "Um...N...N...No, I haven't". Well then the woman replied, you're in for something special. They drove to the woman's multi-million mansion, and the young man admired it silently in awe. She led him by the hand into the living room and offered him a comfortable seat. She winked at him and said she would be right back to make an introduction. She went to the staircase and screamed upstairs... HEY MA! YOU AWAKE?
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