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Post by jrchico on Aug 16, 2016 20:43:41 GMT -5
We have had a Joke thread on every forum i have been on. This forum should be no exception.
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Post by jrchico on Aug 16, 2016 20:44:05 GMT -5
Q: What are a woman's four favorite animals?
A: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an ass to pay for it all.
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Post by rickolsen on Aug 16, 2016 23:22:06 GMT -5
That is a funny joke. Have you heard this one?
Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he'd like a beer. Descartes says, "I think not" and he disappears.
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Post by jrchico on Aug 17, 2016 15:43:52 GMT -5
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.
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Post by jrchico on Aug 17, 2016 16:00:39 GMT -5
Worth watching if you have 10 minutes to kill.
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Post by believer on Aug 18, 2016 12:30:29 GMT -5
I guess I hadn't seen them all before
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Post by jrchico on Aug 22, 2016 6:05:55 GMT -5
Not me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fun to watch if you have a few minutes to kill.
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Post by jrchico on Aug 27, 2016 22:33:56 GMT -5
In addition to Rick's latest rules about criticism, consider the following (from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail")... "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" Definitely not allowed. Probably not.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2016 7:54:55 GMT -5
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Post by bgstar on Aug 30, 2016 8:34:00 GMT -5
This will be the third Jackie Evancho forum I have posted the following:
"TSA rule and regulation - If you see Jackie Evancho on your plane, do not yell Hi-Jack"!!
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Post by raymoc211 on Aug 30, 2016 9:10:51 GMT -5
For you old enough to remember. Speedy Alka seltzer was constipated and took a laxative to help the problem. When It took effect, Speedy said. "Plop plop fizz fizz oh what a relief it is." Now I will return to my time out corner.
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Post by jrchico on Sept 4, 2016 4:47:44 GMT -5
Q: What does a bum call a dumpster.
A: Bed and Breakfast.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2016 17:59:45 GMT -5
Some small exercises in humor...
1. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
2. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
3. A day without sunshine is like ... night.
4. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
8. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
11. You have the right to remain silent. Anything You say will be misquoted, then used against you.
12. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
13. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
14. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
15. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
16. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
17. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
18. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
19. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
20. You can't have everything, where would you put it?
21. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
22. The things that come to those who wait are usually the things left by those who got there first.
23. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
24. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
25. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
26. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
27. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
28. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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Post by Beachguy on Nov 20, 2016 10:10:08 GMT -5
We have had a Joke thread on every forum i have been on. This forum should be no exception. I left a Quote joke on Quotes , if not clean enough you can delete it but it comes from the highest man in the land
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Post by Beachguy on Nov 20, 2016 10:12:37 GMT -5
Q: What are a woman's four favorite animals? A: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom and an ass to pay for it all. One was named Jack and then he hit the road
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